Gertrude Elizabeth Cunningham
Thursday, June 24, 1920
Date of Death:
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Age:
91 years old
Thursday, June 24, 1920
Date of Death:
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Age:
91 years old
Thursday, June 24, 1920
Date of Death:
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Age:
91 years old
Gertrude Elizabeth Cunningham
Remember her, and keep your balance.
– Rumi
Gertrude Elizabeth Olson Cunningham, matriarch of a large family, consort of Jerry Cunningham, beloved mother of Bill, Mary, Peggy and Pat, proud grandmother, Archangel to a wide circle of friends, lioness when she had to be, the bank employee with the key to the safety deposit boxes, a stunning beauty with the face of a star, the one you wanted to sit next to at the table…
Where did you go?
She was our north, our south, our east and west,
our working week and our Sunday rest,
our noon, our midnight, our talk, our song;
we thought she’d live forever but we were wrong.
(W.H. Auden, modified)
When Gert was born in 1920, who would have guessed, how would she have known, could her parents have surmised that of all things she would grow up to marry a sheriff and live in a jail house? A jail house transformed into a land of beauty, love, generosity, acceptance, patience, and mirth out of which came the best home cooked meals in the state. One of the regular prisoners was quoted at a hobo convention as saying, “If you have to get arrested, get arrested in Olmsted County so you can eat Gert Cunningham’s food,” for it was the same food she prepared three times a day for 24 years for her own family.
If you ever had the good fortune of opening the door to the Cunningham house you will remember feeling like you were entering the gate to the festival; a place safe from the machinations of the world no matter if you were in jail or there to do business or to see your cousins. Merriment, nourishment, and a well of love were always in the offing.
Brought up in the rich farm land of Wisconsin, the daughter of James and Mary Barbara Olson, she grew up poor by any standard but rich in the company of her brothers and sisters and her doting parents. She inherited her mother’s innate talent for playing piano proving it later in life when on occasion she would spontaneously sit down and play if she came across one sitting idle in a lobby or a living room.
Her life on the farm taught her to work hard, keep her eyes open for opportunity, take on a ton of common sense, and weave connection with golden threads. She moved to Rochester, Minnesota in 1940 with her sister Margaret Conway and brother-in-law Bob Conway to help with the demands of their burgeoning family. With that move, one could say the stars lined up extraordinarily for her to bump into Jerry Cunningham, a rara avis if there ever was one, and after she married him her life got off to a roaring start. Mary Conway, her niece of five years old performed cartwheels at the wedding which stands as a good metaphor for what Gert’s life would be like raising four wonderful children, running the jail kitchen, acting as unofficial female deputy for her husband, taking care of Grandma Cunningham who lived with them, getting children to and from school, traveling with Jerry to sheriff conventions, managing a household that was public and never closed, being a friend with a listening ear, raising up the underdogs of the community, nursing the sick, dishing out food around the clock, and all without an iPhone.
She was like many of that era; self taught. She learned to play the organ, she could knit in her sleep, crochet, and do needle work which dazzled those of us who couldn’t handle a pin. She didn’t take lessons, or go to a workshop, or get a book from a library, she was naturally talented, possessed of good wits, diligent, and dosed with an innate confidence that she could figure it out on her own.
It was from her benevolent parents that Gert learned the art of hospitality, no doubt. The farm house was brimming with people, the fire always hot, the potatoes always on the boil, the plates of food stacked high, the place humming with friends, farmers, relatives, neighbors, strangers. Gert could be in the middle of cooking for 30, but when you walked into the kitchen she dropped the ladle and the wooden spoon to engage which made you feel like you were the only person in the world that mattered. The coffee was always on, sweets were aplenty, the industrial freezer full of popsicles, dream sickles, fudge sickles – her freezer was sickle central. She’d give you the green light to help yourself, and you knew that meant one for each hand. Her kitchen was the only place in the world where a glass of milk was refrigerated within a degree of being frozen.
During the 60s, when things were beginning to erupt and spill out, new ways of thinking were bubbling to the surface, the civil rights movement was gaining momentum, Gert was tolerant, and supportive. Bob Dylan and rock and roll? Sure. Motorcycles in the driveway? Why not. bands playing in Cell Block 9? Shut the door. Her kids moving away? Fly on. Go to school, don’t go to school? Your choice. Marriage, divorce? Do what you have to do. Protective? Yes. Limiting and controlling? Never. In her eyes, you were perfect as you were. She loved her children beyond words. Her unconditional love was her biggest gift to them and her entire extended family. If you were under her wing, the shelter was transformative.
The Conways and the Cunninghams must have been sent down to earth to go forth and be close and intertwine. Monnie Conway met her husband Chuck Eichten at a planned dinner at the Cunninghams. Mary and Kay Conway lived on the third floor of the Cunningham house on Center Street after they were married. We all loved being at the Cunningham’s because discipline was light, bedtime was a gray area, jumping on the beds was not prohibited, playing in the sheriff’s office or the living room was all the same, scoldings were unheard of, and there was plenty of candy. Why go to the trouble of driving cross country to Disneyland when you were already there?
Mike Conway tells a story of how he would bark and howl like a dog upon entering the Cunningham house and taught Aunt Gert to respond in kind. She understood whatever language you chose to speak and her sense of humor was legendary.
Aunt Gert’s children grew up in the company of their paternal grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins, prisoners, city office workers, judges, lawyers, deputies, and the occasional King. All that and her house was never messy. She would go from mashing rutabagas to tending to outbursts in the jail. Jerry’s squad car was her second home; there was the call of sirens, squawking scanners; officers in uniform; emergencies and phone calls in the middle of the night; sick children; aging parents; unexpected guests. If it weren’t for Michael’s and the Gopher Count in Viola she never would have gotten out of the house!
Gert was usually found in the kitchen cooking, or preparing to cook, or washing up, or trying to catch up. She didn’t know if Judge Blackman would be at her table for lunch or Tippy Wit. What she did know is that they’d both get served the same thing; sit next to each other and make nice; pass the bread and butter; chat. Never mind the monkey in the chair beside you, the Watkins’ Man, or a portion of the student body from Lourdes High School walking towards you. All were served, all were welcomed, all were equal at Gert’s table. She didn’t care if you had the letters Ph. D. after your name or AWOL.
Gert only had eyes for the person who was in front of her. She could take you in so far you never wanted to return again to where you came from. People wandered in to her house and took up residence. Mainly, they got a room in her heart because that’s what they were looking for anyway.
Gert saw her brothers and sisters dwindle in number. She lost her husband young. She worked at the Marquette Bank for 21 years. She was a well known face in the community, respected for the years of service to her city as well as for her character and her dignity, for how she comported herself without the strong shoulder of Jerry to lean on. She gave love out as naturally as the sun gave light. She suffered losses and stacked them up like bricks to stand on. She out loved everyone.
So it is that she is not needing to do anything more for anyone else. She is free, she is reaping the bounty of her endless good works. She is shining like a star. Vast and full and expansive. She is with us even more now than before. You can hear her laugh, feel her presence, know she is reunited with those she has lived without for so long. And you can remember her and keep your balance.
“The Beautiful One whom I adore has pitched His royal tent inside of you. So I will always lean my heart as close to your soul as I can.”
– Hafiz
A memorial mass will be held at St. John the Evangelist Church, 11 4th Avenue SW, Rochester, Minnesota, at 11:00 a.m. on Saturday, June 2, 2012 with Rev. John Lasuba officiating. Guests will be received an hour before the ceremony. Lunch will be served immediately after the mass. Please join us.
Memorials to: Booker Mini Foundation P.O. Box 5805 Rochester, Minnesota, 55903. info@bookermini.org
Condolences
The family of Gertrude Elizabeth Cunningham has received the following condolences.
Grandma Gert,
It was such a pleasure to have been with the family to say goodbye this past weekend. We knew you were with us and your bright smile and shining eyes looking down upon us. How wonderful it was to have you as our grand mother. I will never forget your unconditional love and accommodation you would give us every summer we would visit from colorado. It was always a treat (literally and figuratively) coming to the house and playing with Amy and Edwin and the rest of the crew. We love you so much and will always carry on your amazing spirit. Say hi to grandpa Gerry for us and we will keep you always in our thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Jake and Lisa Cunningham
Dear Gert, I hardly knew you yet heard of you through my father Bill, son of Jack Cunningham. and my Uncle Mike. God Bless you! Watch over us...new Cunningham added last year..Colt Cunningham, son of Michael, son of John William( Bill).
Maryjane
Cunningham
What a great lady. I had the honer of knowing and working around the family in the early sixties. She will be greatly missed.
John Kennedy
Our hearts are heavy readingof Trudie's passing. At the same time we smile when we remember your mom. Dave worked at the Marquette Bank Building for 20+ years when Trudie was in the Safe Deposit department. What a gem! She met our daughters when they were so young they couldn't be seen over her desktop. She watched them grow, marry and meet their children. She always smiled and recalled their first meeting. Trudie smelled like roses. There is a hand lotion we use and to this day we say "that smells like Gert" and we smile. We are Blessed for knowing your mom and considering her our dear friend. Please know our thoughts and Prayers are with you as we celebrate the rich, generous, caring and loving life of Trudie.
Dave and Jan Busitzky
Dear Peggy and Family,
We are sooo sorry to hear about Gert's passing. She was a wonderful lady and friend to us. We miss the phone calls and conversations we had with her. Just the other day my mom said I wonder how Gert is and was going to call but then slipped our minds. Now wishing we would have. YOU ALL are in our Thoughts and Prayers !!! Not a word I can say will heal the pain of losing a Mother (MUM) but know she was a very caring and loving person to all. She is back with her old neighbor from Fontain Tower's rejoicing in their conversations and cooking, baking together.. I know she missed Roger badly after he left us all too.
Wished WE would be able to make it to the mass but my mom is very sick herself right now. Ill be thinking about you all..
Love, Heidi and Marge Minnich
Dear Ones, after learning that Gert left, my thoughts went directly to the people I've interacted with and the experiences I've had over the last six decades. Very few have left an imprint upon my soul - Gert has. She was a mother to me, a friend, a confidant, a place of safety and peace (& food), and above all, a place where you could be who you really are and shine, without judgment. No matter what that was, in Gert's eyes, you were absolutely perfect. Gert showed me what embracing life and unconditional love is all about. It's difficult for me to articulate such deep love in words - I'm truly blessed to have been a part of such a wonderful family growing up. You are all bright lights - hold on to one another - stay close to one another.
In love & light,
Irmgard
Never met you, Gertrude Elizabeth, but I've had the pleasure of friendship of your daughter Margaret (and her husband Rich). Got to believe that a lot of you rubbed off on her, all of which gives me a clue as to how much you will be missed. My sincerest condolences to your family.
Rick Ebel
Grandma Gert a wonderful lady that will be missed. Met her at my daughter-in-laws, Amy, and what a great lady she was. Very kind and interesting to listen to. She was always welcoming to me and my husband when we would see her. Will miss seeing her at Amy's. Always got a kiss on cheek when she came and left. God Bless you.
Condolences to all of the family she left behind.
To Pat and the Cunningham family,
Thank you for sharing Gert with my family. We will always remember her for her kindness, understanding, patience, laugh and wit. I am sure her name was one of Petey's first words - even though it came out as "Gamma Dirt" She will be forever missed. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Love & Friendship~
Jod, Randy and Pete Ash
My thoughts and prayers to the Cunningham family during this time of sorrow.
When I first heard of Gert's passing my heart was heavy for the loss of such a beautiful person. Then I started remembering all the wonderful memories I have of working with Gert at Marquette Bank and I actually laughed out loud. How can I ever forget our working late on Friday nights and going for dinner afterwards. (We had to have onion rings because they contain zinc which helps prevent colds - who cared about the calories!!) Many evenings I spent at Gert's house and her granddaughter Amy would come from next door and have "girl talk" with us. (Amy was in grade school at the time.) And the memories go on and on. Gert was at my wedding 25 years ago and when our son David was little he called her "Grandma Gert" quite happily. Even though I left the bank and Rochester in 1989, Winona was not that far away and we continued to stay in touch with visits and Christmas cards. I was so happy to see Gert at the Marquette Reunion in 2010. She may be gone from this earth but the memories live on forever. Rest in peace.
Barb Klockeman Tust
Grandma Gert... I remember coming over to your place and playing cards with you for hours. We would always play the matching game! You will truly be missed!!! Pat and family I am sorry for your lose.... Love you and miss you lots! Kelly Morgan
Pat so sorry to here about your mom. She was easily one of the friendliest people I remember growing up in rochester. Cell block # 9 will never be forgotten. God bless you all. Dave and Lynn Delano- Hudson. Wi.
See ya later, Gert! Thanks for all the love you gave me and everyone you knew. How you put up with all the commotion and noise our band produced, I'll never know. You were a saint. I'm sure the miracles will be noted soon by those they helped. Your love was strong and provided strength in those who received it. So, see ya later, Gert! Well, I hope.
I was fortunate enough to see and visit with Gert at Elaine's 90th birthday party at the Clarion. Gert was always so pretty and such a lady! (My mom and Gert must have been the two prettiest ladies at Marquette Bank.) I remember visiting the family when Gert, Jerry and the kids lived at the old Court House address. Now another one of our earthly angels has gotten her wings. In Peace, Gae Anderson Lewis
"I'll be at Cunningham's"...one of the few havens my mother would trust ....Gert's eye upon us.
Susan, your words of Gert Cunningham poured memories into my mind. I never touched the hem of Mother Teresa or felt the warmth of Gandhi's forgiveness but I got a thousand hugs and smiles from a "second mom", "Mrs. Cunningham"...and it does not get better than that.
Bill, what a gift your mom, dad and family (especially you) were to Barb and me when we were growing up with you. Our thoughts are with the Cunninghams and Conways as you say goodbye to a Rochester treasure.
Jon
Grandma Gert will truly be missed,but never forgotten. She was the best Mother-In-Law you could ever ask for. Always there to help you when you needed help. She was the kind of Grandma who would get right down and play with grandchildren. Amy and Edwin were very lucky to have her as their Grandma. She was so proud of them. I have many fond memories of her. What a SPECIAL LADY she was. She touched so many hearts.
I have fond memories of visiting Aunt Gert and Uncle Jerry and of course the Jail was an added bonus. She made it feel like a home away from home. Just a few years ago, during Thanksgiving weekend, several of us enjoyed a visit and dinner with Aunt Gert at Michaels. What a pleasure it was to renew some of the family history with her. I will always remember her as a very graceful lady who shared her love for life and family with many of us.
My condolences to Bill, Mary, Peggy and Pat and their families, and may your fond memories bring you comfort in the loss of your mother.
Cousin Mike, youngest son of your Uncle John F (Francis).
Dear Cunningham Family,
I am so sorry for your loss. The world is definitely a dimmer place without Gert in it. She touched my life so much and I am so grateful for having known her, felt her hugs and having shared laughter with her. Gert taught us to live a joy filled life and to treat others with kindness, compassion and loving words. My thoughts are with all of you.
The Cunningham family: Gert was like a mom to me and also a grandmother to my kids. I have some many memories of her. So many good time. Working out in the garden and flowers beds with her, Christmas and watching her enjoying everything and the smiles on the kids faces. I could keep going on and on about her. She will be one missed lovely lady.
God bless you all and keep all of your great memories alive by taking about then and sharing them with everyone.
Love and hugs, Mike and Sharon Day
Dear Pat & Cunningham family,
We are sorry for your great loss. We all won by having Gert on this planet for almost 92 years.
In our 20s, Gert was a 2nd Mom to us. We have fond memories of sitting around the kitchen table at your home across from Lourdes High School.
May the angels of music be serenading her.
Love,
Bryan & Joan
Dearest Cunningham family:
How sad I was to read of your mom's death. I have such wonderful memories of she and Gerry when I came to town in 1971 to student teach and lived in one of their rental units. You took me in and made me part of the family. Please accept my deepest sympathy and love. Gertie was remarkable and I loved her and your dad very much.
God bless you all.
Judy Gittus
My prayers go to Gert and family, so sorry to hear about her passing, she was a wonderful lady.
My parents knew her and Jerry well, they were Patrick and Madge Griffin...I saw Gert a few years
ago at a Marquette Bank reunion, she looked wonderful, so nice to have seen and talked to her.
Sincerely, Pam Kennedy (Griffin)